Beta

So concludes most of day two. Can't say I've seen much progress yet, but yet instilled, everything comes with time. And with me, it always comes slower than I ever imagine it being.

Classes are the most trivial of sorts. I have to contemplate which dates I'll want to take my absentee sessions, because those classes really bore the hell out of me. I'm looking through my old school records, and it seems I took an IQ test back in 1st grade. And scored around a 125. Which placed me within the top 5% of the population.

I guess that explains why school has never really interested me. In turn, placed a cause & effect domino system on the events I must've incoherently chosen with my subconscious. Or, just because I was rebelling. Any way you roll the dice, the classes are still severely trivial.

Smoked a bit too much today, also shaved. Haven't had a semi-clean cut face in ages now. Feels fresher. I had one call from the past night when I decided to begin this experiment, to right now. Funniest thing is, it's from the Korean girl way back when that wanted to give me her nudes. Shame.

I've already began a process I call "Destruction". Every list is cleared out of people whom I believe never cared, fronted like they did care, or didn't interest me. Every list. Phone contacts, "messengers", websites, the whole nine. With this, I feel it's a visual reminder that I'm starting anew. Maybe it will work. Who really knows?

Still on the verge of cutting again. It's really trying to go back and forth with yourself, pros & cons, on why I should or shouldn't. But I ultimately spill it, and lose the battle. The alcohol has me to suffer minor hang overs. And the cigarettes are smoked in such a succession that I can feel the arsenic eating away at the tip of my tongue.

So be it.

Remember Noah, stick to the plan. Nothing else has worked yet, maybe this will.