Phi

I may as well continue my Upsilon post.

And to be truthful, there is much to say. But most of what I want to say is hard to articulate in a way it comes across the way I want it to be perceived. So let me light up this Newport real quick, calm my nerves, and I'll begin.

Looking back on my last post, it seems I aimed it in the wrong light.

Let me rephrase.

Square one - puff, puff, puff.
Me & you. I don't know what you have to say or want to say. But you said it. You even said you didn't know what half the things you said yourself even meant. Don't worry, half of the things I said I didn't know what I was getting at. But I'm talking about a good 5 years ago. You're talking in the present tense. I don't know what you want from me. I know what I want from you though. I know I ended the relationship, and I know every reason why. Do you though? I didn't run my mouth like you may think. I only asked advice of 2 people, and one of those 2 being my father. So I don't know where all the second string information had came from. Unless it's from the other person. But what I did yesterday may have been "out of hand" in your eyes. Sure, that's understandable. I have no clue about these things you think I don't know you know, because there's nothing to hide. That's ass backwards. Do I owe you anything? Do I not for the most part let you say your peace? Do I not lend YOU an ear as well? No, I don't owe you anything. Yes, I ALWAYS let you say your peace. And yes, I ALWAYS lend an ear. Whether or not you capitalize on it is on you. Otherwise, let me restate something. You appease to the circle. Which is alright, but bitching about how you hate it so much then flagrantly speaking to those people makes no sense. I know that's a tad hypocritical from my standpoint with the ex(es) situation. Naw, it isn't. ANYWAY... after this I hope things for the most part are cleared up. You're MOST LIKELY disappointed in me. Can't say I care too much, that's nothing new around these regions. I'm aware my mood changes, but it's nowhere near as drastic you ever portray. Things happen to affect my mood, two nights ago for example. Let me close this chapter though, I did want you around. But I suppose this is for the best.

Square two - rinse & repeat.
Oh you wonderful beings you. You are all actually a joy to converse with individually. But when in a group, it's more of a hell. If you're not aware, everyone is connected in a relationship circle where everyone is shared and loves everyone else. You know who I'm talking about, and if you don't... then you're either extremely dense OR not in the circle. Either way, be glad you don't know what I'm inferring to. But I digress, this whole circle is tiring and unfortunately I'm going to have to step out of this bitch. I don't enjoy the vast amounts of gossip that comes my way. I dislike having my business blabbed around by chicks I thought were cool. I dislike knowing my ex knows my business from shit that happened 2 years ago because someone she's connected to in this love decagon also knows me. It's really redundant. It was interesting for a while, but it's not for me. All of you can kindly go bend over, lube up, and slide a gigantic plum up your asses. Because I'm not doing this shit any longer. Ignore it if you want, talk about me, blah blah. Because I know it will still be a topic of discussion in your gossip circle long after I ghost.

Square three - menthol & formaldehyde are made of heaven.
The ex-girlfriends. We had good runs! Until you either cheated on me, left me for another dude, lost interest, or went crazy. No exaggerations here, I'm not you. But whether you were bi-polar, a sucker for niggas who were disloyal to you, or you felt the need to ghost out with no rhyme or reason. This goes out to you! I know you read this on a daily basis, which is pretty stalker-ish. No worries! I'm not angry at that. I am angry at the fact you still call me though. Santana, it was a one-time deal. Let's keep it that way. Aliciana, you're psychotic, your father does not love you, and you have a gigantic nose. There will never be a relationship in the future between me & you, so go back to the boy you went to after you shitted on me and get cheated on again. Ok? It's all love though. And to all the others. Cecily, it was nice talking to you the other night. But I could really give two shits less you're engaged and you have a kid. Thanks for rubbing the salt in the wound. Maria/Gloria, whatever you go by now, have a nice time in San Diego or San Francisco... whereEVER you are now. Just don't fucking call me. All in all, our relationship is over (each & every one of you), so the phone calls should be too. I really despise having to change my number and e-mail addresses.

Whew.

And that's that.

Have any questions or comments? You know where to leave them.
And you know where to find me. Except, I did purge every messenger list I have, as well as cell phone. Hope you found this enlightening. You can call this predictable, however you see it.

But a nigga really can't give a shit at this point.

Holler.