Reclaim & Relive

Main Entry: re·claim

Pronunciation: \ri-ˈklām\

Function: transitive verb

2 a : to rescue from an undesirable state; also : to restore to a previous natural state

Feels a bit important to start off with that definition. I've been feeling as if my mind has ran away from me, at least as of late. So much to do with so little time. Albeit, work or classes. Maintaining connections with people I have grown wary of, or seeing a family member through a sickness. It almost feels as if I want what I can't have, and have what I don't want. Responsibility is no problem, it is moreso the weight it presents your fragile shoulders as the mass beings to amplify as you find time to actually relax and reflect. But that is for another entry. No time for pity parties. Things always change, soon my situation may take a turn for the better.

Main Entry: re·live

Pronunciation: \(ˌ)rē-ˈliv\

Function: transitive verb

: to live over again; especially : to experience again in the imagination

With the subtle amount of time I have been able to apply to the thought & meditation processes, this word trends alongside them. If I could do THAT differently... If I could have say something differently to her... If I didn't completely steer my goals off the road... Something like that. I feel strange for having those thoughts. I mean, I'll never be able to "redo" any major part of my life. I guess it's just a hypothetical standpoint. Life is a blessing or a bitch. Maybe dreaming doing the right thing is good for someone? Or just a sick realization that things have not been as positive as they could be.

Lol, a tad somber. I apologize. I know about 0-2 people still use blogger so it doesn't actually matter too much. But I'm not trying to soil anyone's mood. So, all I can do right now is think. Maybe about better days, as the light at the end of the tunnel seems a tad far off. Just sayin'.

Much love,

N.A.P.